new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize