Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize