if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
