I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize