How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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