I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
