this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
