Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
