Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
