I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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