Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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