haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
