i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm too high and old for this...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize