Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How naked do you want me to be?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
