I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
