I am puke
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
