I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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