im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
