everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
