I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
