I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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