and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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