I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
