Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
