508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
