hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
