I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
