where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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