She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
third nipple confirmed
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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