i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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