Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Mom said you looked used
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
