Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
