i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We got so high we made milksteak
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
