Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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