Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
