I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
