She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize