Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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