Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
