all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
