You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
