She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
