make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
