my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
