I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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