I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
