You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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