You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize