somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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