After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
