My friends, they love my intelligence
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
