To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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