can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
