Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
