with your own penis?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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