no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
