So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
