batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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