I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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