I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
