We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
