worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
