i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You made out with two different species that night
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize