I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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