Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
