I CAN MOONWALK!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
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