I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
