I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize