I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
