we have pet lesbian snakes
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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