your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
