apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
