Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
