You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
