he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize