were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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